Global Child Protection Parenting Curriculum

Year 2, Lesson 7: A Maintained and Healthy Garden: Gender Norms Within the Family

`Time Needed: 45 minutes`

Garden Images:

African woman bending over a garden with a gardening tool — Africa

Latin American woman sitting in garden, gathering vegetables — Latin America & the Caribbean

South Asian woman working in a garden, holding a plant — Asia

Index

Teacher Preparation

Objectives

The caregiver will be able to:

Hear a scripture about how in Christ, men and women are equal as God’s children.
List common cultural gender roles practiced in the family and local community.
Explore how these common gender roles can affect a child’s view of themselves and the opposite gender. benefit or hurt the opposite gender.
List positive gender practices that support both genders equally.
Examine negative heart attitudes that lead to unhealthy attitudes toward the opposite gender.

Materials

Chalkboard and chalk
Any pair of glasses (sunglasses or prescription will work)
"Positive(+)” and “negative (-)” signs (contextualize if necessary)

Preparation

Read the lesson and reflect on how to teach it wisely.
Skim previous lesson. Prepare to have a quick review at the beginning of class.
Get familiar with the games in the activities so you feel confident leading those.
Create positive (+) and negative (–) signs and tape them up on each side of the room (choose if you want to put the words or only the symbols).

Introduction

5 minutes

Last week, we explored some new positive ways to lead and discipline our children.

Did any of you have an experience this week you’d like to share about a new practice or discipline approach you tried? Accept answers.

Hold up a pair of glasses and say: Imagine if someone hands you this pair of glasses and asks you to wear them every day. Hand the glasses around to each of the participants. Allow them to try on the glasses and respond to the experience.

What is it like to look through this set of lenses? Accept answers.
How does it change your view to put on these lenses? Do you see better or worse? Accept answers.
Let’s imagine you had poor vision. What kinds of challenges might you face daily? Accept answers. Possible answers might include but are not limited to: you might miss things on the ground or ahead; you might trip or be hurt; you might not be able to see far in the distance or changes that happen around you.

When we can’t see clearly, we might miss a lot of good things around us. We may even misunderstand what we see and feel confused. Glasses are meant to improve our vision. If these glasses were made just for you, you might feel strange wearing them at first but slowly your eyes would get used to them and you would see more clearly. Lessons like this curriculum are like glasses for your mind and heart. They are tools to help you see in a new way. These lessons are meant to improve your mind like glasses improve sight.

Today’s lesson will be like looking through a new set of glasses. It might seem strange in some ways but it’s important to try on new ideas and allow the truth to improve our minds and hearts, so we can see ourselves and others the way God sees us. Here are some of the new ideas we will explore. You will:

Hear a scripture about how in Christ, men and women are equal as God’s children.
List common cultural gender roles practiced in the family and local community.
Explore how these gender roles can affect a child’s view of themselves and the opposite gender.
List positive gender practices that support both genders equally.
Examine negative heart attitudes that lead to unhealthy attitudes toward the opposite gender.

New Ideas

15 minutes

When Jesus came into the world, it was like he brought a new pair of glasses for all his followers to put on. They began seeing everyone around them differently. They even saw the past and the future in a new way! If you read any of the stories about Jesus, you will see that Jesus was not like most people around him.

For example, Jesus viewed and treated women very differently. Many people in his culture didn’t think highly of women; they saw women as weak, less valuable members of society. But Jesus saw women as equal to men, valuable and worthy of honor. Jesus befriended women. He ate with them, healed them, spoke specifically to them, traveled with them and even cried with them. Jesus saw them with a different pair of lenses and anyone who chose to follow Jesus began to see things in a similar way.

Let’s read a few of the verses written by one of Jesus’ followers and discuss how this might have given the church a new way of seeing:

Galatians 3:26-28

26 So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God by believing in Christ. 27 This is because all of you who were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. You have put him on as if he were your clothes. 28 There is no Jew or Gentile. There is no slave or free person. There is no male or female. That’s because you are all one in Christ Jesus.

Who does this first verse say we are? Children of God.
What is special about being God’s child (instead of being his servant or employee)? Accept answers. Possible answers may include: we belong to him; he loves us; he cares for us; he watches over us; he gives us what we need.
What does verse 27 say is the reason we are children of God? Read the passage again, if necessary. We are children of God because we were baptized into Christ and we put him on, like a new set of clothes.

Putting on Jesus, like a new set of clothes gives us a new identity—a new way to see ourselves and others.

Who are some other groups of people in our town—different from us? Accept answers.
Imagine if you started to dress like that group of people. How would you be seen in a new way? Accept answers. Possible answers may include but are not limited to: we would be expected to practice their way of community; we would be more respected or less respected, depending on how they are seen; we would be persecuted or given special treatment.

Verse 28 tells us the truth about our identity when we put Christ on like a new set of clothes. It says,

28 There is no Jew or Gentile. There is no slave or free person. There is no male or female. That’s because you are all one in Christ Jesus.

When we follow Jesus and put him on like new clothes, we enter a new community and see in a new way. We don’t elevate ourselves above or below others. Instead, we see each other as equal.

One way people are often separated and not valued equally is by gender. Sadly, many in our culture don't see men and women as equally capable of leading, influencing and contributing to our community. This view directly impacts how we see our children and how they see themselves.

Caregiver Connection

5 minutes

Our attitudes toward those of the opposite gender will be passed down to our children. We prevent love and respect from growing in our families when we diminish girls and elevate boys, or when we expect girls to express emotions but boys to hide theirs. Jesus wants to give us new lenses to see ourselves and others. God invites us to stop and think about the ways we view men and women and try to identify if we are helping or harming our children in the way we interact with the opposite gender.

Application/Activity

15 minutes

Activity 1

When we look at the different roles each gender is given in our culture, we can notice patterns in how we value or devalue the other. For example, we might expect women to perform roles that only require they serve but never invite them to speak their opinions and ideas. Perhaps only men get to speak to the children about their future while women must stay silent. Or maybe we give men roles related to strength so those who are less physically able to perform these tasks are humiliated and dismissed.

Let’s explore some of the various roles for men and women in our families and see if we notice any patterns like this by playing a game. This game involves acting out roles or activities without using words. The goal is to see how quickly your team can guess the activity you are acting out.

Make two teams.
Ask one team to come up with a list of typical roles and activities for men. Ask the other team to come up with typical roles and activities for women. Tell each group to talk about their list quietly so the other group can’t hear.
Help facilitate the groups with their list. Examples for roles may include: clean the house, shop for groceries, take out trash, fix broken things in the house, cook, discipline children, plow the field, etc. Encourage the group to come up with at least five roles for each gender.
Assign one person in each group to write down their list or write it for them once they can name some roles. Alternately, each team can quietly tell you their answers and you will write them down so you can remember.
Once you have the list of roles for each gender, the group will choose a member to begin acting out one role for their team to guess. The team that chose the list of roles for women will act out men’s roles for their team to guess. The team that chose the list of roles for men will act out women’s roles for their team to guess.
To begin, whisper a role/activity to a player on each team. Give them 30 seconds to think about how they will act this out, then say, “Go!” The participant will try to demonstrate the activity without using any words until their team guesses the role/activity.
The team that guesses the activity first wins that round.
If you have time, play as many times as you have activities/roles to guess.
Bring the participants together as a class. Ask the participants how they liked the game then read the list of roles aloud that were spoken for each gender including those that they may not have had a chance to act out.

Are there others roles you can think of that were not named? Accept answers.

Now that we have this list, let’s evaluate together whether we believe these roles help or harm men and women. Do they encourage us to be one and see things from God’s lenses or do they encourage us to diminish one another and see things from a negative lens? You will see that on one side of the room I’ve placed a “positive (+)” sign to represent a positive view of the opposite gender. On the other side of the room, I’ve placed a “negative (-)” sign representing a negative view of the opposite gender.

Activity 2

Invite participants to stand up. Say: I’m going to name some of these roles and activities for men and women you mentioned. If you think the role is helpful, move toward the “positive (+)” sign. If you think the role is harmful, move toward the “negative (-)” sign.

State the roles one at a time. If there are participants who turn in different directions, invite them to talk about how they think this role is helpful or harmful. This may be a challenging activity because many times people want to choose whatever others are choosing. It’s difficult to disagree. But this activity can encourage people to grow in their willingness to challenge others’ thinking. Encourage participants whether they all agree or disagree to support their reasons for why they think the role is helpful or harmful. See below for some possible answers.

Examples of roles that might help women or men. It helps the women/girls for men to take an equal role in helping with schoolwork; it helps men/fathers when women are willing to plan for the future together.
Examples of roles that might hurt women or men. It hurts and devalues women when they can only work at home and aren’t allowed to earn money; it harms men when they are restricted from learning basic home chores such as cooking and cleaning and aren’t prepared to support their future families.
What are some positive practices that might help us see the genders equally, as God’s children? Allow participants to discuss and suggest ideas. Suggest some of the following as they seem appropriate for your group.
- Allow equal education to girls and boys.
- Invite both our boys and girls to participate in similar chores.
- Speak to adolescent boys and girls equally about important ideas rather than dismissing them. Invite them to adult conversations.
- Permit both genders to pursue their own interests rather than pre-determining them.
- Permit both genders to use technology.
- Stop child marriage and sexual harassment.
- Empower mothers. Elevate the importance of the caregiver. Women are most often in the position of raising the next generation. They contribute the most to the forming of children’s minds and hearts.
- Allow wise women and men to make choices.
- Choose character over gender in leadership.
Turn to a participant and name one way you see yourself or family members look down on the opposite gender rather than elevate, honor and value them? Give participants some minutes to discuss and then come back together.
What is it about the human heart that causes us to want to devalue others who are different from us? Allow answers. Possible answers may include but are not limited to: We feel better about ourselves when we can be higher than another person; we are all prideful; we don’t like being less.

We all want to see ourselves as kind and generous. But the truth is, when we don’t feel valued or receive honor, we tend to look for someone around us we can push down. Even a young child who has no one beneath them will sometimes command authority over an animal to show they are strong. Everyone wants to be higher than another and it is easiest to do this with those who are different. Men and women are viewed differently, though they are equal. God created both genders to support each other and work together, but we often fail to respect the opposite gender in an effort to elevate ourselves.

Unfortunately, our children easily notice negative attitudes about the opposite gender and it will affect their view of themselves and their ability to appreciate the other gender. Caregivers lead by example. If you say you believe in equality, that is good, but your actions are most important. If you speak down to girls but elevate boys, your children will follow your actions and this pattern will be passed on to future generations. You have a chance to put on a new set of lenses and see people in a different way that, at first, might seem strange but eventually will grow stronger love in your family.

Reflection

4 minutes

This process of seeing one another as equal is lifelong. We need to regularly remind ourselves of the truth, practice loving each other, and ask God to show us the truth. The good news is that God invites us to listen to him and promises to give us abundant wisdom when we ask for it. Let’s take some time now to listen to what God is telling us individually about our view and treatment of others.

Allow participants to be silent for one minute as they ask God the following question:

How do you want me to see those of the opposite gender the way you see them?

Closing

1 minute

In this lesson we:

Heard a scripture about how in Christ, men and women are equal as God’s children.
Listed common cultural gender roles practiced in the family and local community.
Explored how these gender roles can affect a child’s view of themselves and the opposite gender.
Listed positive gender practices that support both genders equally.
Examined negative heart attitudes that lead to unhealthy attitudes toward the opposite gender.

When we begin to seek the God of the Bible and try to put the truths into practice, it’s like putting on a new set of lenses. God-lenses will cause us to see things differently than our culture. Maybe we will even see differently than our family has for generations. It’s not always easy to look through God-lenses, but if we want to live in the truth, we must be courageous and choose to keep seeing and treating others as God wants us to.