Global Child Protection Parenting Curriculum
Year 2, Lesson 3: A Damaged Garden: Evil and the Whole Person
Time Needed: 50 minutes
Garden Images:
Index
Teacher Preparation
Introduction
New Ideas
Caregiver Connection
Application/Activity
Reflection
Closing
Teacher Preparation
Objectives
The caregiver will be able to:
- Hear a Bible passage about how our inward motivations lead us to hurt others.
- Explore how the Bible passage reveals different ways a divided heart violates another’s will.
- Define abuse: When someone violates any part of another person against their will (heart, mind, and body) to satisfy their own needs.
- List common local examples of child abuse and parenting practices (sexual abuse, physical abuse, child labor, neglect and exploitation) that violate a child’s person and describe their impact.
- Explore reasons that parents might choose to treat their children these ways (Africa & Latin America – substance abuse issues; stress from poverty and hardship).
- Explore how love overcomes evil through heart change and positive parenting practices.
Materials
- Chalkboard and chalk
Preparation
- Read the lesson and reflect on how to teach it wisely.
- Skim previous lesson. Prepare to have a quick review at the beginning of class.
Introduction
5 minutes
In the first two lessons, we explored stories from the Bible that show us God’s unconditional love for his creation.
- What is unconditional love? Accept answers.
Unconditional love is choosing what is good for another person’s heart, mind and body.
- What are ways we recognized God’s unconditional love in the Parable of the Lost Son? Accept all answers. Possible answers might include: God’s love allows natural consequences; gives freedom to choose; speaks the truth; teaches by example and celebrates wise choices.
As caregivers, we are created to reflect God’s heart of unconditional love to our children. Think about the child or children God has placed in your care. Consider their growth into adulthood. What good desires do you have for the kind of person they will become? I will read a list of words to help you identify your good desires for your child.
Read through the following list of words slowly. Allow a moment for caregivers to consider which words they would choose.
Strong, Healthy, Confident, Patient, Joyful, Kind, Loving, Intelligent, Wise, Creative, Understanding, Gracious, Humble, Content, Peaceful, Determined, Faithful, Honest, Just
Ask participants to share a few words that they choose for their child.
It is right to have a good vision for our children’s future and the kind of people they will become. Children are meant to grow into healthy, strong adults able to make wise and loving choices. This kind of good growth happens when love is present. We know, however, that many things get in the way of the healthy growth and development of children.
- What can inhibit a child’s healthy growth and development? Accept all answers. Possible answers might include: lack of nutritious food or clean water, lack of education, alcohol or drug use, neglect, abuse, poor choices made by the child.
Unlike God’s heart of unconditional love, the human heart is divided. Draw a picture of a divided heart on the board. One side should show love in some way—perhaps draw light rays coming out of that side of the heart. The other side should show evil in some way—perhaps draw a skull inside (or some other culturally appropriate symbol to represent evil).
We make choices for ourselves and for others that are not always rooted in unconditional love. This is because there is another force at work in the world that is against love—the force of evil. Love chooses what is good for another’s body, mind and heart. In contrast, evil chooses what is bad for another’s body, mind and heart.
The next two questions are for each person to consider privately. The answers will not be shared with the group.
- Can you think of a time when your body, mind or heart was hurt by another person? Allow a moment of silent reflection.
- Can you think of a time when you intentionally or unintentionally hurt another person’s body, mind or heart? Allow a moment of silent reflection.
What causes a person to choose evil, rather than love? What is happening in the human heart that leads to the hurt or harm of another person? Explain that you will explore this in today’s lesson.
In today’s lesson, you will:
- Hear a Bible passage about how our inward motivations lead us to hurt others.
- Explore how the Bible passage reveals different ways a divided heart violates another’s will.
- Define abuse.
- List common local examples of child abuse and parenting practices that violate a child’s person and describe their impact.
- Explore reasons that parents might choose to treat their children these ways.
- Explore how love overcomes evil through heart change and positive parenting practices.
New Ideas
20 minutes
God created us to receive his love and give his love to others. The Bible tells us that when Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden that God told them not to eat, they chose to turn their heart away from God’s love and towards evil. The human heart became divided. Point to the picture on the board. We all have this divided heart—a heart made to receive and give God’s unconditional love (point to the side of light or love), but one that often turns away from God and towards evil instead (point to the side of darkness or evil).
Today we will read a part of a letter James wrote to Christians almost 2000 years ago. In the passage we read today, James helps us understand what desires motivate our divided hearts to choose evil, rather than love. As you listen to the passage, ask yourself: what desires cause us to harm and hurt another person? What hope does James give us?
James 4:1-8a
1 “Why do you fight and argue among yourselves? Isn’t it because of your sinful desires? They fight within you. 2 You want something, but you don’t have it. So you kill. You want what others have, but you can’t get what you want. So you argue and fight.
- What does James say causes arguments, fights and even killing? Accept answers. Possible answers include: sinful desires; wanting what you don’t have; discontent; selfish desires.
You don’t have what you want, because you don’t ask God. 3 When you do ask for something, you don’t receive it. That’s because you ask for the wrong reason. You want to spend your money on your sinful pleasures.
- Why does James say we don’t have what we want? We don’t ask God.
- Why does James say we don’t get what we want when we do ask God? We ask for the wrong reasons. We ask for our own pleasures.
4 You are not faithful to God. Don’t you know that to be a friend of the world is to hate God? So anyone who chooses to be the world’s friend becomes God’s enemy.
James says we cannot be friends with both the world and God, because they are in opposition to one another. God’s heart is undivided and only motivated by his unconditional love for his creation. In contrast, think about the ways of the world.
- What makes a person important and worthy in the eyes of the world? Accept all answers. Possible answers might include: wealth, power, beauty, position.
The ways of the world are not motivated by love. Rather, they are motivated by things like greed, power, control, selfishness and pride.
- Are these motivations rooted in love or evil? Evil.
Let’s try to remember the worldly desires that turn our hearts away from love and towards evil by creating simple hand motions to represent these desires. Ask participants to get into groups of 2-4 people. Give each group one of the following words: greed, power, control, selfishness, pride. Allow a minute for each group to come up with a simple hand motion and then have them teach it to the class. Once all hand motions have been taught, practice the entire list a few times as a class.
If our hearts are guided by a desire to get what we want or to have power or control over other people or circumstances, it is easy to see how we can choose evil for another person, rather than love. But James does not leave us hopeless. He understands that although our hearts are divided, God’s heart is not divided. Listen to what he says next.
5 Don’t you know what Scripture says? God wants the spirit in us to belong only to him. God caused this spirit to live in us. Don’t you think Scripture has a reason for saying this? 6 But God continues to give us more grace. That’s why Scripture says,
‘God opposes those who are proud. But he gives grace to those who are humble.’
7 So obey God. Stand up to the devil. He will run away from you. 8 Come near to God, and he will come near to you.
- What does God want? For our spirit to belong to him.
- What does God give us? He gives us grace.
- What happens when we come near to God? He comes near to us.
- What does James say happens to the devil when we stand up to him? He runs away.
James tells us that God wants us to fully belong to him. God only wants what is good for us. He desires to form an undivided heart in us, one that is only motivated by love. When we humble ourselves, and ask God to help us, he always does. This is because he loves us.
A good caregiver desires to protect their children from evil, but because of our divided hearts, evil happens every day, both to us and through us. Many children, therefore, experience child abuse.
What do we mean by abuse? Abuse is when someone violates any part of another person against their will (heart, mind, and body) to satisfy their own needs. When an abuser hurts a child, they are not thinking about what is good for the child, rather they are thinking about by their own evil desires.
- What is a person’s will? Remind the participants that it is the part of a person that makes their choices and decisions. Abusers force themselves on children and overpower their will.
- What are common forms of child abuse? Accept answers. Answers include: physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, neglect, child labor.
Do you remember the evil desires that James talked about? Let’s do the hand motions together to remember. Practice the hand motions together.
These are some of the heart motives that cause a person to abuse a child. But because evil is not only done through us but to us, there are other heart issues that might lead a person to abuse a child. For example, a caregiver who is addicted to drugs might neglect their children because of the effects of the drugs. The outward circumstance is the addiction, but the inward heart issue might be grief caused by trauma or loss. Other inward motives that may result in evil actions include fear, anxiety and depression. Let’s add hand motions to these heart issues too.
Ask participants to get back into their groups and create hand motions for: grief, fear, anxiety and depression. Allow a minute for each group to come up with a simple hand motion and then have them teach it to the class. Once all hand motions have been taught, practice the entire list—including the original list—a few times as a class.
Substance abuse is one outward circumstance that may lead to abusing a child.
- Can you think of other outward circumstances that may cause a caregiver to abuse a child to satisfy their own needs? Accept all answers. Possible answers might include: poverty, hardship, death of a loved one, personal history of abuse, rebellious behavior of the child.
- Remember, healthy growth happens in the presence of love. How then does abuse affect the growth of a child? Accept answers.
Abuse prevents or inhibits the healthy growth of children. Studies show that children who have experienced child abuse are more likely to fight with others in anger, act out in risky sexual behaviors, struggle with substance abuse and become involved in criminal behavior. Victims of child abuse often struggle in school and withdraw from friendship with others. When evil is done to a child, it affects every area of their person—body, mind and heart.
Caregiver Connection
5 minutes
The good news is that love is more powerful than evil. In the presence of love, evil cannot stand. God’s love provides hope for any person who has been abused. How do we, as caregivers, break the power of evil done to a child who has experienced abuse?
- We become a safe place for the child to talk about abuse.
- We provide protection to the child.
- We assure the child of their worth and value.
These things invite love into the child’s body, mind and heart. Love heals our wounds, frees us from the power of evil and restores hope and joy.
What if we have abused children? Is there any hope for the abuser? The answer is yes. How is the power of evil we have done broken?
- We tell someone we trust about what we have done.
- We invite God’s love in to bring healing and correction to our body, mind and heart.
- We accept the consequences of our actions.
- We work to restore a right relationship with God and others.
It is important as caregivers to our children that we draw near to God daily and ask him to help us. James tells us that when we draw near to God, he will always draw near to us. Remember, God’s heart of unconditional love is undivided. He only wants what is good for us and for our children. God empowers us with his love to help our children grow healthy and strong and learn how to make wise and loving choices.
Application/Activity
15 minutes
It is good news that love is more powerful than evil. How does love overcome evil through heart change? We know what motivates the heart to turn away from love and towards evil. Let’s remind ourselves of these heart motivations.
As a class, go through all hand motions you have learned with the words: greed, power, control, selfishness, pride, grief, fear, anxiety, and depression.
When we turn our hearts away from evil and towards God’s love, his love replaces these motives with his own good desires. But what are these good desires?
- Ask participants to get into the same groups of 2-4 people.
- Give each group one or two of the words: greed, power, control, selfishness, pride, grief, fear, anxiety and depression.
- Ask groups to talk about what new desire God puts in our hearts that replaces this evil desire. It might help them to ask the question: How is love’s way opposite to the evil desire? For example, while evil desires greed (to have more), God’s love is motivated by generosity (to give to others), which is the opposite of greed. Ask each group to create a hand motion that represents love’s desire.
- After a minute or two of discussion, ask each group to present their words in this way, and include the hand motions: God’s love replaces the world’s desire for ______ with his desire for/to ______. There is not one right answer. Possible answers are listed below.
- Greed: generosity, contentment
- Power: equip, bless
- Control: freedom, surrender
- Selfishness: be others-centered, be kind
- Pride: humility, compassion
- Grief: comfort, joy
- Fear: encouragement, love
- Anxiety: rest, guidance
- Depression: hope, love
Love is more powerful than evil. Love’s ways overcome evil with good. When we choose to daily turn our hearts towards God’s love, he helps us make loving parenting choices for our children. What might this look like? Read the following parenting situations out loud to the group. Change the parenting situations to fit the context of your community as needed.
- A one-year old wants something they cannot have. What is a positive parenting choice? Possible answers include: give them a choice between two things they can have; turn their attention away from what they want and towards a new activity.
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A school age child’s behavior is corrected and they respond back to their caregiver in order to explain themselves. What is a positive parenting choice? Possible answers include: listen to their response and start a positive conversation; discuss how to have a respectful conversation with an adult.
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A school age child struggles with their studies. What is a positive parenting choice? Possible answers include: give them support and encouragement; let them know you love them whether they get good grades or bad grades and want to help them do the best they can in school.
Reflection
4 minutes
The Bible tells us that “we love, because God first loved us” (I John 4:19). We are only able to respond with love towards our children when we first have received love for ourselves. It is helpful to form a habit of receiving love daily. The daily habit of prayer is a wonderful way to grow in love ourselves. Prayer is a conversation. We talk to God, and we listen for God’s response to us. He desires to bring us encouragement, guidance and strength. His heart is undivided: he only wants what is good for us.
Take a moment to ask God this question and listen for his response:
- What words of love do you have for me?
- What good desire does you have for me to grow in love as a parent to my child/children?
Allow participants to be silent for one or two minutes as they reflect on the questions. Encourage caregivers to continue to ask these questions in their daily lives.
Closing
1 minute
James tells us that when we draw near to God, he will draw near to us. It is good news that God’s heart is undivided in his love for us and for our children. He always desires what is good for us.
This week, watch for times your heart turns towards love.
- How do your thoughts, feelings and actions respond to choosing love?
Also, notice when your heart turns away from love.
- How do your thoughts, feelings and actions respond when turning away from love?
James also tells us that God desires that our spirit belongs to him. He wants to make our divided heart, undivided, like his own. He wants to grow in us hearts that are encouraging and generous; hearts that desire goodness, freedom, truth, joy, blessing and hope for ourselves and for others.
